My Battle with Cluster Headaches

Introduction

From 2004 (age 21) to 2013 (age 30) I suffered from chronic cluster headaches: a condition which reportedly causes pain more intense than unanaesthetized amputation or natural childbirth, and is probably the most severe pain experienceable by humans (Matharu & Goadsby), resulting in adrenaline-sparked bouts of anxiety and associated irrational behaviors such as aggression or even suicide (Robbins). During these years, horrific encounters with sadistic doctors and bloodthirsty authorities were the norm. I was on many occasions mistreated and abused by medical personnel, framed for drug-addiction by a small handful of doctors while others fought to vindicate me, and on one occasion I was attacked and savagely beaten by a pair of out-of-control police officers who then framed me for assaulting them. Much of this resulted from my being a known religious minority (Wiccan) in an overwhelmingly conservative Christian community, in which police officers had the slogan, "In God We Trust" displayed prominantly on their patrol cars, and in which one chief of police held a deaconship at local evangelical church. I was the victim of repeated hate crimes perpetrated by the community's elites and archons, all of whom covered for one another to ensure that none of them would be held accountable for their actions.

This is my story.

I. Background

I.a. What are Cluster Headaches?

Cluster Headaches are a rare and extremely painful disease, the most severe form of pain known to medical science and the human race in the entirety of recorded history, affecting approximately one out of every thousand persons (0.1% of the population). There is literally nothing more painful, and quite possibly nothing else that even comes close to the pain of the worst Cluster Headaches: Persons who have experienced other forms of severe pain, such as passing kidney stones, natural childbirth, severe and or terminal cancer pain, non-anesthetized amputation (forced dismemberment by various means), or even non-anesthetized surgery, invariably report that the pain of a Cluster Headache attack is, by far, much, much worse.

Cluster Headaches get the “cluster” part of their name because they primarily occur in episodic cycles interrupted by periods of remission, thought to be related to a defect in the hypothalamus of the brain, which governs the human circadian rhythm. Attacks occur at the same approximate time of day, every day, and cycles occur at the same approximate time of year, every year.

I.a-1.) Classification

The term “Cluster Headache” is a misnomer. Per the above, the pain caused by Cluster Headaches is far, far worse than anything which could be considered a mere “ache”. Cluster Headaches are sometimes considered a “migraine variant” because the pain is mainly centered on the trigeminal nerve, and it is only because of the location of the pain that Cluster Headaches are considered headaches at all; besides the fact that they appear spontaneously without having been caused by injury they are no more mere “headaches” than violent head trauma are. Cluster Headaches are, in fact, nonviolent head trauma, and the pain caused by them results in intense emotional and psychological trauma. Refusal to treat the Cluster Headache sufferer will compound this trauma.

Over the years Cluster Headaches have acquired many different names:

“Migranous Neuralgia” — the name given to the condition upon its discovery in 1926.

“Horton’s Neuralgia” (originally, “Horton’s Cephalalgia”) — as they were once known, due to the fact that Cluster Headaches are a form of trigeminal neuralgia in which the pain is caused by a spasm of the trigeminal nerve itself, unlike true migraines and so-called “cluster migraines” which are primarily vascular, Cluster Headaches are primarily neurological and only secondarily vascular. This is why, even were it not for the discrepancy in pain level between migraines and Cluster Headaches, treatments designed to alleviate migraines should not be expected to work.

“Ciliary Neuralgia” —

“Petrosal Neuralgia” —

“Sphenopalatine Neuralgia” —

“Vidian Neuralgia” —

“Sluder's Neuralgia” —

“Histaminic Cephalalgia” —

“Erythroprosopalgia Of Bing” —

“Erythromelagia Of The Head” —

“Hemicrania Angioparalyticia” —

⚖ “Alarm Clock Headaches” — due to the regularity of recurrence and their ability to wake the sufferer out of a sound sleep.

“Suicide Headaches” — due to the fact that the human mind is unable to cope with pain of such severity, and the resultant psychological and emotional trauma often results in suicidal depression between attacks, and suicide attempts during attacks. Such suicide attempts normally fail, since the severity of the pain severely limits both physical and mental coordination, however those who suffer from Chronic Cluster Headaches typically suicide after fewer than five years.

"Cluster headache is probably the worst pain that humans experience. I know that’s quite a strong remark to make, but if you ask a cluster headache patient if they’ve had a worse experience, they’ll universally say they haven't. Women with cluster headache will tell you that an attack is worse than giving birth. So you can imagine that these people give birth without anesthetic [several] times a day. Many cluster headache sufferers have committed suicide, leading to the nickname ‘suicide headaches’ for cluster headaches.” — Dr. Peter Goadsby, Professor of Clinical Neurology at University College London (a leading researcher on the condition)

I.a-2.) Physical Symptoms

The primary symptom of a Cluster Headache is unilateral periorbital pain (although bilateral Cluster Headaches are not unheard of) most often described as “boring” or “drilling” and most often likened to a red hot poker inserted through the eye, with the severity of the pain likened to having a leg amputated without anesthetic.

Aside from extremely severe pain, the most common symptoms associated with Cluster Headaches are:

ptosis

lacrimation

rhinorrhea

conjunctival injection

miosis

Pain is often boring in quality

Pain is unilateral in orientation

Tearing

Eyelid drooping

Unilateral numbness

Less common symptoms include:

facial blushing

swelling

sweating

Occasionally, a Cluster Headache may cause a secondary migraine, resulting in:

photophobia

phonophobia

I.a-3.) Psychiatric Comorbidities

Depression
Anxiety
Aggression
Suicidal ideation
Suicide attempts

I.b. My Case

I began getting cluster headaches in 1997 at the age of 14.

I began getting chronic cluster headaches in 2003 at the age of 20.

I.b-1.) Familial History

I.c.) Pacific County

Pacific County, at least in the county seat, South Bend, along with the larger, adjascent city of Raymond, is overwhelmingly conservative and Christian, though one wouldn't know it by voter turn-outs.

II. My Story

I was constantly in the emergency room. On several occasions, I was scolded by yahoo emergency room doctors for this behavior; I attempted to reason with one such yahoo doctor, early on, in language that any yahoo could understand, saying, “any Fish & Wildlife officer or veterinarian will tell you that wounded animals become irrational”, to which his reply was “the human beings who come in here complaining of [migraines] are in too much pain to move!” Not only did this ignore the fact that the pain caused by cluster headaches is far more intense than anything experienced during a migraine attack, but what did he think humans were, if not animals? some mystical, magical faerie species from the Quagnar Galaxy? I was thereafter red-flagged and treated as a drug-seeker. Before long I was having the police called on me and one small-town yahoo police chief even accused me of grabbing at him, for which I was severely beaten, almost killed, and now have a felony on my record as a result. For many years, such negative encounters with the yahoo medical and legal communities seemed to be the rule for my life rather than the exception.

Thankfully not all the doctors, nurses, and police officers I encountered were so ignorant. A few even showed me sympathy.

II.a. The 2006 Attack

I was lying on a hospital bed in the emergency room of Willapa Harbor Hospital when a pair of out-of-control cops attacked me and beat me nearly to death.

Once I was subdued with the officer straddling me, pinning me from the waist down, he grabbed the back of my shirt and began jerking my torso up and down, slamming my head repeatedly against the tile floor.

I was barely able to walk due to the head injury I had just endured as I was "escorted" out of the hospital room. The South Bend police chief teased me cruelly as my footing faultered along the way, demanding, "quit faking! I know you can walk!"

II.b. The Pre-Trial

The South Bend police chief kept feigning familiarity with me, yet making it obvious he was lying through his teeth. He kept saying things like, "I put my hand on his shoulder and said, 'Justin, you have to leave,'." I couldn't believe he would pretend as though he knew me and cared about me, without even bothering to get my name right for the sake of the pretense. Didn't he know how obvious he was being?

II.c. Trial

At the trail he was at least getting my name right in the lies he was telling. I pointed out to my attorney that he'd been getting my name wrong the day before and asked him to bring this up, but, alas, the court transcriptionist had "corrected" the police chief's error for him. The proof that the police chief was lying through his teeth had been covered up. Although, there was a camera in the courtroom. Perhaps there exists still a video-recording of the pre-trial that will demonstrate this was a cover-up.

III. Insurance Fraud

I'm still not sure if the majority of the parties involved were being intentionally fraudulent, or if for many of them it was more a matter of fear yielding a self-fulfilling prophecy: So paranoid were they that I might actually be a “drug addict”, that they turned me into one on paper.